new years day

I need a calendar.

And a studio space for writing and making.

And to miraculously stop being so messy.

And to have more energy, and to feel more comfortable.

Beyond thinking a little about what I need more of in my life, I haven't come to any decisions for new years resolutions. I can't decide what I'm willing to commit to. (Probably "be more decisive" should have been on my resolutions list for the last ten years at least.)

I guess, here's something tentative:

1. Read every day.
2. Create something once a month.
3. Start riding again -- including taking some lessons.
4. Organize and personalize my office at work so it feels less like some generic person's office and more like my own happy, inspiring workspace.

And I want to say something about cleaning more, but really, I don't want to clean more. I just want to suddenly find myself in a nicer, more organized environment. As if by magic.

As for the obligatory reflections on the year just passed: I hardly remember 2012 at all. I feel very far away from it already. We drove past our old house last night and it looked so perfect and familiar and, at the same time, foreign. Our lives are so very different from the ones we had living there. Not better or worse, I think -- just so completely different. For a minute I wanted to drive around back, let myself in and go to bed in our old room with all of our things there. But we don't live there anymore.

I wonder if we ever will again.