Wednesday, May 9, 2012

pioneering

So often, I wish I were carving out life in the wildest west. That it could be a hundred-and-ten years ago, and I would rely on the strength and speed of horses to take me where I need to go. I think I could be pulling rocks out of a field in the unexplored Alberta prairie.

I wish I didn't know what it was like to have excess. Imagine not knowing what it's like to sit comatose in front of some electronic device or another. If lying around were not an option.

But it's too late for me; I already know what it's like to have this home and its refrigerator and a television and a computer and a cell phone. I doubt anyone can really leave these items and live pretending they don't exist, once they've lived with them and loved them for their usefulness.

I could have been a pioneer, if only I'd been born in a different time. I'm frustrated that my current self is not strong enough or determined enough for that life. Not at all, now that I'm already a quarter of a century into a certain way of life.

The task at hand is to find somewhere those two kinds of lives can meet.

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