growing up for a long time now
i think it started early, even before
first heartbreaks, the ones i thought
would last forever, would change me
forever, but that was nothing
compared to losing her.
standing at the front of the church
the words on the paper unreadable
through the welling of tears
that could not be blinked away,
and hands clenched with each others'
so tight in the pew in the front row.
but even before all this growing,
being forced down and somehow
somehow
straining upwards again
there was all this age weighing me down.
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